Friday, 7th, January, 2021

So there we are and it all ends happily after thirteen weeks of silliness in this mash-up between Star Trek and Doctor Who, all very, as the Great Time Lord would say, “Timey Wimey”.

Let’s recap and consider some of the silliness that abounded and bounded through this like a demented electric bunny (by the way did I mention my eBook, the one with the Space Bunnies?? https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1023306)

Throwaways.

In the fine tradition of silly science fiction shows there is always the get-out device to be used once to save the day then thrown away immediately thereafter. After all we don’t want to make it easy on the characters to save themselves more trouble when having dangerous adventures is so much more fun.

And so it was that the time suit had to go, deep into a black hole where it can never be used again. Until someone finds it?

(Doctor Who just did the same in the 2020 Christmas edition when throwing away a spare TARDIS).

A Very Hairy Story.

I have to wonder about Michael (not me, that one) and her choice in hair style. How did she grow all her hair so long after just one year away from her favourite pets? Zapped her follicles with ExtendoHair(TM)? Yes, we all know she’s been there, just a year, but as any real girl will tell you it takes a lot longer to grown something that magnificent. Or a lot of hair fertiliser, something she picked up from her boyfriend? Or maybe they’re evil alien space hair extensions about to rip their way through the space continuum in the next season? Do they come alive at night and pace up and down the cabin planning their conquest of our universe?

Over 100 Years??

Over a hundred years without the Federation (all praise The Federation) and no one, not one single person, scientist, engineer, starship captain through to research and trace the sources of “The Burn”??

Duh!?

And don’t get me started on the idea that two of the strongest founding worlds of The Federation (hallelujah!), that’s Earth and that other one, Vulcan, just upped and turned their backs?

Empress Gone!!??

Waaaa, the Not-Quite-Evil Empress has had to be written out!!! Arrgh, how do they get away with such a loopy storyline that says the Empress is (magically) bound back to her old universe, just so they can make her sick (that was the first warning sign of a damn good Hollywood-style write-out, then send her on a journey of “personal growth” (hello there California people) and fulfilment on her own “path” of destiny, and other claptrap. Well they had to write out such a strong and conflicting character after others were spending many episodes spouting about “The Federation is wonderful, gosh gee whizz”.

Time Protocols.

(I still get a weird desire to beat people over the head when characters use the word “protocol”.)

Yes, there were time wars, and people agreed, ever so politely, not to use time travel to fix things, like “the burn”. I mean, just pop back in time, zero in on the trouble and fix it, or at least pin point the centre of the problem? Far too easy.

And all those gangster like societies out there who just toed the line and behaved like good, but evil, little boys and girls not using time travel? Really!!??

Strange then that after the collapse of “All Hail The Federation” no one appears to have been out meddling. I’ll bet a lot of them were up to some serious no good somewhere/somewhen.

Time And Other Dimensions Inside A Starship.

And so finally we arrived at the “most generic act of Hollywood nonsense, ever, like really e-ver”.

Did you see it, that attempt to suggest that the starship Discovery was a TARDIS – vastly bigger on the inside than on the outside!!?? Whizzing around on the back, side and, possibly, underneath the turbolifts as they race up and down in a vast cavern-like void big enough to accommodate an entire starfleet. Weeee!

Yes, I know, and I’m sure you do too, that Hollywood science lives in its own magical universe and that Star Trek is actually, really, fiction so you can do whatever you like and no one will notice.

I noticed and I’m pretty sure you did to.

How long did it take you to stop laughing?

Anyway I’m off to ask the guys and girls and things on the Lower Decks if they can answer all these and more questions.

END Mission Report…

Oh no, those cute robots. Brrrrrr.

Read the earlier article from the beginning of this saga here: Disco 3


If you want to enjoy some of my own fiction, and meet the Space Bunnies, pop over and take you pick on my Stories Page

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